Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Why doesn't it come?

Why doesn't it come to me?
Somebody else has it, and I haven't got any.

I don't feel jealousy, I feel left out. As many times I've been left out as a child. The memory of those experiences have created the beliefs within me that I am not good enough as everybody else is, to get it. To get the manifestation I want. Yes, now it makes perfect sense. To mention some aspects that are still active in my vibration because of the belief system I have created that prevents me from realizing my own worth and to allow my desires to enter into my physical experience. 

While other kids in my vicinity had two parents to give them love and attention, I had none...or sometimes one, but not constantly enough to ensure my worth. While other kids, have two parents with stable income to provide them with things that ensured their worthiness, I had non. While other kids had two parents that at least one always came to school meetings, I had non. Well once I remember my mom came to my school meeting, and that was the happiest day in my life. But then, hearing that I am an exemplary student and hundred percent self guided and can always be trusted, do not really need “supervision”, no need to come to school meetings. Which sounds great, but now there is no flow of constant confirmation that I am good enough.. No encouragements that I can do it, that anything I wish can be accomplished by me. 

I had many sad days as a child, which I have ignored to look back at and just remember the good part. But now so many years later, I have wishes and desires and many of them have started to flow into my experience with ease, I still have some brakes on. And those breaks are my belief systems created as a child and reinforced through life, still active within me! And how do I know that? 

Well, I had a dream where there was a person whom I have very narrow view of..and he, who according to me, do not deserve to get that winning on the lottery, got it! And I, who I see as deserving, did not get it. And again, I feel like that child left out from Christmas gifts, when everybody else is being receiving it. It is important to notice here, that in my dream I did not felt that he should not have won, just the surprise that “even” he can win, and I cannot? It is also important to understand that he is as worthy as anybody and my view of him is not as it was before. I guess somewhere on the way I saw him as someone untrustworthy and therefore unworthy of his desires.

As I see it that way places me directly in poor consciousness category and that is also the cause for my limitation when I look at my self. Maybe therefore I have been trying during the years to play on the lottery and always hoping to win. And the weird part is that I almost always win, but I win small! And now thanks to this dream, and to this person in my dream I finally get it. 

The reason for me not winning Big is not because I don´t dream big, is because I don't see, feel my self as worthy. I've been reassuring this statement for long long time and now when I am awakening to who I really am , and realizing my own power of thought emotion and alignment I see clearly my bugs. And it feels great to acknowledge it. To bring it into the light and understand that point of view, that unworthiness I have been carrying around does not longer serve me. 

My beliefs were introduced by circumstances which today have no more power. 
Because all my power comes from Now, from clarity and alignment with my inner being, with the Source who knows my worthiness and loves me unconditionally. I now know who I am and that there is nothing that I cannot be, do or have. OH..it feels great to realize this, and to write it out of me..so it is no longer a hindrance, than a moment of clarification. And I love having moments of clarification, of relief. A moment of true self empowerment.

Soothing Words

I have crunch in my stomach because I am thinking the thoughts and have emotions and feelings about a specific subject that are not aligned with my inner being, with the perspective of the Source. Meaning, The thoughts I am thinking that make me feel bad are not how the source within me sees it. Meaning, I am hanged up on something that obviously my feelings are showing is not the path to what I want and therefore I feel bad. Meaning, when I realize that what I am thinking and feeling about that specific subject is not serving me, I will be able to move away from it by focusing on something else. Or, I have to find soothing words to take me off that specific subject and make the statement look more general. 

Like, I know what I am thinking is making me feel bad, and feeling good is what I want. Good staff come out from good feelings and there is where I want to go. I know that I am vibrational being and that I am living in vibrational universe. What I think and feel is creating my personal point of attraction and the law of attraction, the non physical, the source, the god, the universe is responding to it and brings more of it to match. I know that I do not need to figure it all out at once, and there is perfect timing for things to unfold so they can surprise and delight me. I trust the source within me knows what I want and the relationship between where I am and where I want to be, and always calling me towards it. The only thing I need to do is to relax and just chill, trust that everything always work out for me. Find a good feeling thoughts or words of appreciation in order to start feeling better. Distract myself with other fun things and simply move on.. 

The source which Am I and the non physical part of me are One the same. When I am aligned with the perspective of my inner being, I am allowing energy to flow. I am allowing the energy that creates worlds to flow to me and through me. At that point I look at my existence through eyes of source.   And what I see is that all is well with me and the world. Nothing is broken and nothing needs to be fixed.. I am doing just fine. There is nothing that I cannot have, be or do in this time space reality. If my life experience has the potential to awaken the desire within me, it also has the potential to deliver it to me. I just need to trust it and allow it. I need to become cooperative component to my desire..By letting go of all topics and subjects that are not serving me and I can feel it in my belly and my solar plexus if I am on the path to that relief. 

Yes, I am looking for relief. For fun and joy of being. I am looking for ease. It´s easy to breath, its easy to appreciate, it´s easy to love. I love to feel ease, I love when I know that things are flowing easy, and easy they get if I just trust that everything has its purpose and serves me in some way.  From now on I will only look at the things that I am creating around me as my own hundred percent creation that I will take credit for. I will acknowledge whatever occurs as it is for my own benefit always. 
Yes, I have decided that everything is for my own benefit, even the negative emotion I am feeling, because it gives me clarity, to redefine and clearly know what I prefer. I love come to conclusions and understandings, I love clarity, I love ease and flow, I love being The creator of my own reality, I love taking credit for all my creations, I love my guidance system that tells me when I am in alignment or not with my inner being. 

I love... the sun, I love this planet, I love the flowers, I love the universe, I love animals and plants, I love water, I love rainbows, I love, I love, I love..ME. I am best of the best of the best of the best. I am leading edge creator and my preferences and experiences are making me constantly grow and expand, and as a result the whole That IS expands and enjoys with me. It´s fun, it´s great, it´s amazing..to exist right here and right now in this time space reality where all the fun staff is.